


Not A Daydream

by GeoffsEightGreatestMistakes



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fake AH Crew, Fake Character Death, Female Jack, GTA AU, Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-06 01:52:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6733174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeoffsEightGreatestMistakes/pseuds/GeoffsEightGreatestMistakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trevor’s perspective on <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/6728197">‘It’s Not A Daydream, You Fuck’</a> by The_Problematic_Blender.</p>
<p>(The aftermath of Jeremy calling Trevor one day, and telling Trevor that he’s dying. Trevor doesn’t know that it was faked.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not A Daydream

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The_Problematic_Blender](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Problematic_Blender/gifts).



> So I read this fic by The_Problematic_Blender, and without hesitation I was already getting ideas for Trevor’s perspective… and I got to writing.
> 
> * **This fic works in parrallel to Problematic_Blender's fic, so please read it first!!!** *

_ “... I love you, okay?” _

_ “I love you too. I love you so god damned much.” _

_ “I know. I’m sorry.” _

 

Trevor gets the call at the tail end of a job. He’s on his way back to the penthouse, ready to take a shower and fall into bed. Preferably, he’d also have Jeremy there with him, pressed against his back and radiating warmth like his own, personal little space heater.

But the call ruins it.

He’s just unlocked the front door, pushing it open when his phone rings. He sees Jeremy’s name on screen, and he answers instantly; without hesitation. He greets his fiance cheerfully, but by the end of the call he’s left feeling empty.

He doesn’t cry- not at first. He stands in the doorway of the penthouse, looking down at his phone with empty eyes. One hand is on the doorknob, and the other his holding his phone. The screen has long gone dark, but he still stares down at it.

He stands like a statue for five, ten minutes. What is there to do now? How could this happen? Things had been so good, so wonderful. They had been together for three years, engaged for only five weeks. They were still in that happy ‘honeymoon’ phase of being engaged; where the pressures of planning and executing their wedding hadn’t set in.

They were still reeling at the thought of spending the rest of their lives together.

But that had been cut brutally short.

“Trevor?” 

Trevor’s breathing hitches. His knees are shaking, and his breathing is sharp and shallow. He’s hyperventilating.

“What’s wrong?” It’s Jack, watching him with a concerned look in her eyes. She looks increasingly worried when Trevor lets out a broken sob.

“Jeremy’s gone.” He states, and that’s when he begins to cry. The tears well up, blurring his vision.

“Gone? What do you mean gone?” Jack takes a step forward, setting a hand on Trevor’s shoulder. The touch makes Trevor react harshly. He wrenches away from Jack’s grip, and he lets out another broken sob.

“He’s dead- he’s fucking  _ dead _ !” He cries out, and in a sudden fit of anger, he chucks his phone at the wall. Jack’s eyes widen, and she brings Trevor into her arms in a weak attempt to calm him down. They ignore how Trevor’s phone has smashed into a handful of large pieces, left a dent in the previously immaculate white walls, and now lays broken on the hardwood floor.

“Sh,” Jack runs a hand through Trevor’s hair. She knows it won’t do anything, but that’s all she really can do. Trevor his sobbing in her arms uncontrollably, and she knows that all she can do is hold him close.

 

It’s not assuring that they don’t find a body. 

They find a location, but not a body.

Kdin has found Jeremy’s last location. Everybody’s phones have a tracker, just in case, and Jeremy’s last marked location was a dingy little alleyway in the weird part of Los Santos where high-rises turned into run down homes. There’s dried blood on the dirty, cracked concrete in disgusting splatters, and two pieces of a phone in the midst of the mess.

There’s no trace of what really happened. They have no idea who killed Jeremy, and what that killer had done with the body.

It’s not assuring, and the news makes Trevor’s pain deepen.

He’s been in bed for four days at this point, surrounded by all of their stuff. It’s painful, to roll over and see Jeremy’s side of the bed. That side of the bed will be forever empty. 

He lays on his side of the bed, cuddled under layers of blankets and comforters in their-  _ his-  _ bedroom. The curtains are drawn shut, and the sun is setting, It’s dark, and he’s hardly moved for almost five days; he hasn’t gotten out of bed, except for going to the bathroom. 

The crew has given him privacy, for the most part. But Jack, like the mother that she is, stops by twice a day to give Trevor something to eat. He didn’t eat for the first two days, but Jack practically force fed him breakfast that morning, just so he didn’t kill himself due to starvation.

A knock on the door interrupts Trevor’s pain, and when he doesn’t respond, whoever is at the door pushes it open.

“Hey buddy,” Geoff murmurs. If Jack was the crew’s caring, overprotective mother, then Geoff was the dad that let you get away with anything, but still cared about you deep down.

“How about we get you in the shower?” Geoff sits down on the edge of the bed, waiting for some cue that shows that Trevor is listening. But the lump under layers of blankets doesn’t budge.

“We’re going out for drinks, tonight. As a… uh… as a memorial, I guess.” Geoff knows he’s mostly talking to himself, but he tries anyway. Jeremy’s death has stung them all, but it’s hurt Trevor far more than him.

“I want you to join us.” Geoff sighs softly. He runs a hand through his hair. “You need to get out of the house…”

Geoff trails off, and a heavy silence falls. It lasts for a long time, nearly ten minutes. Geoff doesn’t know what to say and Trevor hasn’t moved an inch, but he’s wide awake in his little cocoon of pillows and blankets.

“I know this hurts, and I’m not trying to tell you that you need to get over him, but you can’t let yourself shut down.” 

The lump in the bed doesn’t move, but Geoff hears soft, muffled sniffling.

“You’re going to kill yourself if you stay like this, and I know that Jeremy wouldn’t want that.” Geoff reaches out a hand, and he gently pats the lump. He doesn’t know which body part of Trevor’s he just touched, but he doesn’t care.

“He’d want you to live.”

The silence falls again, but it doesn’t last nearly as long. It lasts for only a few minutes, then Geoff is standing up.

“Can you think about coming out with us tonight?” Geoff pauses in the doorway. “We don’t even have to go out to drinks if you don’t want to… We can just go to the pier or something.”

Trevor doesn’t say anything, doesn’t move out from underneath his pile of blankets. Geoff doesn’t even know if Trevor was awake for that.

He just waits for another few seconds, and then he leaves Trevor alone. The door shuts behind him, and for the first time in days, Trevor starts to move.

 

They didn’t end up going out for drinks, but they brought fireworks to one of the smaller piers up the coast, and shot fireworks off into the sky. 

The pier was nothing special, they had used it during one of their heists as a place to keep a few boats for escaping on. That heist was more forgettable, it was mostly a failure and nothing too big. But that night was more memorable.

Trevor looked like hell frozen over; unshowered and sleep deprived. He had bags the size of suitcases under his eyes, and his eyes looked empty. They were missing that bright twinkle that had been there ever since he met Jeremy. 

But nobody commented, and they acted as if nothing was wrong. They laughed, they joked around… Gavin got pushed into the ice cold water and Michael then jumped in after him.

It was fun, and Trevor remembers sitting further up the dock, with his legs crossed, and watching his family drunkenly shoot off fireworks. The sight had made him crack a tiny, almost invisible smile. These guys were his family, and he knew that Jeremy would want him to live.

 

Three years, eight months, two weeks, and six days.

Recovery was a slow process. It had been painful, and Trevor liked to think that he could function better.

He had gotten passed smashing old pictures hung on the walls after six months, and gotten passed breaking down whenever something reminded him of Jeremy after eight. He had gotten passed being unable to sleep in their bed after almost a year. He had gotten passed wearing the golden band Jeremy had proposed to him with after a year and a half. 

He had been able to function properly for nearly a year at this point. He was back to smiling and laughing with the crew, and he looked as if nothing bad had ever happened. Except for one small thing. The twinkle in his eyes had come back, but it looked duller. It didn’t look as bright and innocent-like as it had before.

Recovery was a long, difficult process, and Trevor was passed his mourning in all ways except for one.

That damn song from Tangled, the one about seeing the light, had still haunted him. Sometimes, on difficult days, or nights where sleep was impossible, he’d step into the empty room at the end of the hall, where they stored random crap.

It used to be Jeremy’s room, before they started to share a room. And for the past few years, it’s stored Trevor’s old piano, and a random assortment of crap.

And on those nights where he couldn’t sleep, or days where memories came back to haunt him, he’d sit at that piano, quietly playing that song from Tangled. 

The guys have told him to let that song go. They’ve told him that it’s been nearly four years, and he’s moved on. Trevor knows that they are right. He knows that he’s made such wonderful progress… but he can’t let this song go, and the memories attached with it. 

He can’t let go sitting at the piano, with Jeremy sitting next to him, with the most dumb, lovestruck smile on his face. He can’t just let those things go.

 

Tonight, sleep is impossible.

His mood has been dipping for the past few days, for some reason. He hasn’t felt like himself, and he can’t seem to fall asleep.

So he sits at the piano, with his head bowed forward. He’s focused on hitting the right notes, and not messing up.

“All those days, watching from the windows… All those years, outside looking in… All that time never even knowing..”

He doesn’t want to wake the guys; he keeps his voice quiet.

“Just how blind I’ve been, now I’m here blinking in the starlight… Now I’m here, suddenly I see, standing here it’s so clear…” He sniffles softly. “I’m where I’m meant to be…”

He doesn’t notice the eyes on him.

“And at last I see the light, and it’s like the fog has lifted. And at last I see the light, and it’s like the sky is new, and it’s warm and real and bright, and the world has somehow shifted.” His fingers move across the keys with an elegant grace and speed. He doesn’t look like a dangerous man, who is apart of the Fake AH Crew; he looks graceful and beautiful. “All at once everything looks different… Now that I see you.”

“All those days, chasing down a dream.” A new,  _ familiar _ voice sings.

Trevor’s shocked, completely stunned. His hands drop onto the keys suddenly, and the noise that comes out of the piano is ugly. But that’s the definitely not important.

His head whips around, and his eyes widen. He doesn’t know what to do- because there’s  _ Jeremy _ . There’s the love of his life- his fiance- the man that he thought was dead. There is  _ Jeremy _ , with a loving smile on his lips, like nothing is wrong.

Like he hasn’t  _ died _ .

Trevor doesn’t know what to say. But he settles on a pathetic and weak “It’s  _ day _ dream, you fuck.”

The phrase makes Jeremy laugh softly, and his smile grow.

And Trevor smiles too.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you want more gay angst shit (or maybe some fluff) check out me on tumblr at [geoffs-8-greatest-mistakes](http://geoffs-8-greatest-mistakes.tumblr.com/).


End file.
